“You choose one of two pains: The pain of suppressing who you are to gain acceptance, or the pain of rejection that comes with being who you truly are.” Gabor Mate [he said it more eloquently than that]

Spring is blossoming again with wild flowers on the hills. The pond outside the yurt is blooming with lillipads standing up straight with dignity towards the sun.

The goats roam freely on the hill after Destry built the gate.

People are out again, hosting events, and filling out the parks.

Speaking of which, here are some spring gumptionizing events!

- If you are in the Bay Area, check out the Spring Naga Party where the gigantic sea serpent at Golden Gate Park comes alive again with a fun party on May 9th at 4pm.

- I also attended a magnificent performance of Arabic and Hebrew makam songs performed by the band The Qadim Ensemble. Get on their list here to learn about their concerts. So great!

- Also, our Season 3 Premiere episode goes live on April 21st at 6.30pm pacific on Youtube. Join our online watch party and tell us live how you find it!

Ok now here is where I am this spring.

This is the sixth spring that visits me on this wild 10 year journey of becoming a full-time writer, live closer to nature, and have calmer more supportive relationships.

Some highlights of where I am this season in my strangely fulfilling journey:

• I just submitted the third rewrite and manuscript for my novel Rafiki (6 years and 8 drafts in the making now) to a new set of publishers and competitions. My brain only expects rejections now and it has stopped waiting for anything else. I’ve finally curbed the manic part of my brain. It now gets all its dopamine from the sheer act of doing work and submitting it is the prize.
  Submit and keep writing.

• Season 3 of the podcast is out. I am back on the socials (check us out here on Youtube, spotify or apple podcasts or find us in the cesspool of instagram here). I prepared six months worth of long form interviews, essays and reels. Not getting much likes or noticed really, and I have come to terms with that. Post and carry on.

• The Human Dash company has had its best quarter yet. More revenue, new awesome people coming in to help out, and finding better models to build this out in a way that makes sense to me. I tack to so many people that need my services and don’t sign up, or potential investors that don’t get it or want try to convince me to be an AI company. I honestly don’t care.
  Pitch and move on.

That is how spring is looking like, and it is not that I have mastered the art of not giving a fuck. Not at all.

It is just that the fucks I give are now more subtle.

Small things > Big Things.
Fewer Friends > Everyone I meet.
Clients and Readers I have > Ones I have lost.

Surgical fucks.
That is how I keep going now.

Creativity is Treacherous

I have come to realize that Creativity, just like sexuality and martial arts, is an act of becoming more of who I am.

It involves grappling with myself, claiming my deepest desires, and facing all of my insecurities, all at once.

It involves being rejected…all the time.

I know that it does not sound appealing.

And it shouldn’t be.

If I look at that whole ten year vision as though it were one year, then 2026 is looking like the Spring of that decade.

Here is a quick recap of how it has been going so far if you are new here:

• 2020 - 2023 Fall: Just like a school year, my ten year vision started in its Fall season. I was living in Cairo then. I started writing a novel, recorded the first podcast episode, and got a grant to run my first health program. I moved back to SF in 2022, and by the end of that year I was divorced, and my consulting contract had all dried up. By mid 2023, the Bay Area had slashed my liquid savings and my company was facing bankruptcy.

• 2023- 2026 Winter: The last 3 years felt like an eternity, as I crawled my way out of financial treachery, found home and community all over again, and experienced a massive shift in who my friends are and who I hang out with. All the while, I kept on writing, and kept on doing the podcast, and somehow, kept growing The Human Dash to what it is today.

By doing these things I have chosen the pain of knowing of myself. And that path won’t necessarily lead to money, fame or glory.

What it does lead to is contentment.

I can tell you that.

I also can tell you that all paths will lead to death.

So how do you want to live now?

Knowing that how you live is also how you die.

Do you want to die striving and hiding?

Or do you want to die with a straight spine, facing the sun just like the lilliepads of spring?

If you are working on a creative product you’d or are hosting an event in the Bay Area that you think aligns with what I care about send me an email and I’ll promote it!

Also If you like my writing… it takes a lot of coffee to make it!

Buy me a monthly cappuccino here to support it and get access to the archive and health and creativity worksheets that I will release along the podcast.

Buy me a monthly cappuccino

We have been working diligently to produce the third season of The Human Recovery Lab (previously the Gumpcast), and it is finally here!

I’ll share more on the crazy journey of creating this next week, but today I invite you to watch our trailer here on youtube and subscribe there to get notified (spotify and apple podcast links below).

This season we’re adding video essays on emotional regulation, habit change, and data-driven health, and we are exploring the unexpected ways high performers are reclaiming their power, from psychedelics and martial arts to navigating tech-induced burnout.

These interviews have been recorded with a live audience, and a live musical performance lead by the Turkish multi-instrumentalist — Volkan Eren alongside percussion by Marc Wagenseil.

In Search of Gumption reader special:

I will post the essays and interviews here as they come out, but in addition to the regular free content, all paid subscribers will get science-backed worksheets and detailed show notes to help you make the absoute most of this content.

Additionally, you will get a printed form of my book The Human Way: A trauma-based guide for health and longevity in a world obsessed by optimization once it is out!

Subscribe now

Listen on Spotify:

Or on Apple Podcasts:

Or Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thehumanrecoverylab

Instead of twelve hours of screen time, my days were filled with sun, warm Indian Ocean air, simple coastal seafood, and the smiling faces of the Swahili and Giriama people.
(Most of all — I did not hear the letters A or I once on my …

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I called her and she pic…

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If you’ve been carrying stress for too long, and looking to start off the new year fresh, I hope today’s piece reminds you that sometimes feeling better begins with a change in environment.

Today the healing Mongolian yurt turns 1 year old, and I would like to celebrate its very meaningful …

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The only reason I’m living my life this way is because my brain has dis-ease.
I am tortured by my own volition—a perturbation of thought that numbs my sense of danger, curb…

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Isolation, internal emotional bleeding, and..ughh…impotence.

I hated depression with a deep passion.
If only I can surgically excise it from my brain, then I’d finally be the person I want to become.

I tried to cauterize it with Prozac. It was a definite meh.
Then I tried to amplif…

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Could anxiety be the threshold to freedom?

Could the current medical establishment — with its mandate to eradicate the “disorder” of anxiety — be eroding our collective willpower?

Tod…

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Esther Perel famously asked that question to longevity expert Peter Attia, who reflects on this in the very last chapter of his book “Outlive”.

After 300 pages of VO2 optimization, metabolic regulation, and sleep hacking, Peter v…

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It hurt.

It hurt a lot.

It hurt in my lower back.

It hurt between my shoulder blades.

It hurt just like when other kids rejected me on the playground.

Substack lets you remove the notifications of p…

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In the fog, we can work on and on and on.
In the sun, we soften. We get playful—or just too tired to stare at a screen all day.

As David …

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Kenyan Arabica coffee from Trader Joe’s.
I brew it in a French press and work on my book. These days I’m busy rewriting my novel (Rafiki) to prepare it for….whatever is next.

Daily rejections from editors for my nonfiction book The Human…

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It’s like blaming a sailor for not speeding up while the wind howls against them and the current drags the other way.

Pushing ourselves harder under those conditions isn’t just unkind—it’s unwise. High-intensity exercise when the system is already overloaded often leads to injury, more stress, and worse sleep.

Some of us may feel that way int he current political climate as well.

Before we talk about doing more, we need to pause—and ask: What’s actually going on below the surface?

What do we need to less of?

Let’s examine the triad of stress, sleep, and movement—and how our inner narratives can keep us trapped in a cycle that harms more than it heals.

Exercise, Stress, and Sleep: The Triad That Keeps You Afloat

Exercise, stress, and sleep are like three fingers pulling on the same rubber band. If you stretch one too far in any direction without relaxing the others, the band snaps.

Take burnout or a rough breakup, for example. You're under emotional stress, and your sleep is suffering. If you pile on high-intensity workouts during this period, you might get a dopamine boost—but at the cost of spiking your cortisol, raising sympathetic nervous system activity, and further delaying your recovery and repair¹.

Balance is key. When sleep is poor and stress is high, gentle movement, such as brisk walks or neck muscle stretches (see the Habits section), is far more supportive than pushing into HIIT or heavy lifting.

The Sailing Metaphor

Imagine your body like a sailboat. At any given time, three elements determine your direction and speed:

• Wind = Stress: It’s the external condition you feel most clearly in your daily life. It determines how fast you can realistically go.

• Ocean Current = Sleep: Less visible but profoundly influential. Like sleep, it often operates outside of your awareness, yet silently governs your capacity for energy and resilience². Even elite athletes prioritize recovery. Ask them their secret beyond talent and training, and they’ll say: sleep, massage, and nervous system care³.

• Sail = Exercise: The one thing you can control. You can choose to open up, tighten, or even add sails—if the conditions allow.

The Role of Data & Wearables in Understanding the Conditions

Modern wearables like Garmin, Fitbit, and Oura use "readiness scores" to guide exertion. Although many of these algorithms are notorious for being inaccurate, you can create your own navigation system by measuring the metrics underneath them which are:

• Heart Rate Variability (HRV): A measure of how well your autonomic nervous system is adapting to stress. Low HRV = high stress load⁴.

• Sleep Data: Including total sleep, REM, and deep sleep cycles.

• Recovery Biomarkers: Lab tests like C-reactive protein (CRP), Homocysteine, and Urine Cortisol are strong indicators of systemic stress and inflammation⁵.

We’ll cover these in detail in the data portion of the book. Subjective metrics such as self-compassion scores and burnout indices add crucial psychological context.

When sleep is adequate, stress is low, and compassion is high, your system is aligned. These are the ideal conditions for high-performance exercise. You can open up your sails and brace the open seas!

When the Boat Won’t Move

Many clients come to me feeling guilty for not exercising “enough.” But often they’re sleeping poorly, feeling overwhelmed, and experiencing internal stress. Expecting yourself to push through that is like blaming a sailor for not speeding up when the wind is against them and the current is pushing the wrong way.

This is where discernment matters more than discipline.

Learn to distinguish between external stressors and internal blocks like self-judgment, shame, or perfectionism. Telling yourself you’re lazy won't help. Listening to what your body actually needs will.

Exercising hard when your system is already under strain often leads to injury, which reduces movement, increases stress, and disrupts sleep—creating a vicious loop.

This is why we must ask: What is the real cost of overexertion under stress?

As Hippocrates reminds us in medicine: "First, do no harm." Yet our culture encourages us to override our limits in the name of productivity and aesthetics.

Research shows that exercising during periods of high stress and poor sleep can worsen inflammation, increase injury risk, and impair immune function⁶.

Before trying to “optimize” anything, ask yourself what’s driving the stress in the first place. You may not need to train harder—you may need to rest more deeply.

Because sometimes the best move isn’t to push forward. It’s to adjust the sails.

Ready to stop blaming yourself and start navigating with clarity?

If you’ve been pushing through stress and poor sleep wondering why your workouts aren’t helping — it’s time to pause and reassess.

Take the free Human Dash Health Assessment to understand how stress, sleep, and movement are interacting in your life — and get personalized insights to help you realign.

👉 Get the assessment here

The Human Recovery Lab blog + podcast is made possible by individual supporters. As a thank you, paid subscribers get all the research links to dive deeper, have their work promoted with us, and get printed versions of my books on trauma, health and clinical data.

If you like these posts, please consider supporting us!

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🗓 Sunday, May 18th @ 1 pm
📍 Point San Pablo Harbor, Richmond, CA

You’ve heard me talk about the farm and all its magic. Last year, I was a lost soul at Point San Pablo Harb…

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Today’s top…

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What a timely choice! (Check the bottom of today’s essay to vote for my next deep dive topic and find more resources).

Also, welcome to all of you new subscribers! Glad to have you here, where I write …

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I sometimes wonder why we look up to …

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Coming back from a 10-day silent Vipassana retreat—arguably the best way to escape the chaos of the past three weeks—I was met with your thoughtful comments and suggestions on my last poll. They truly filled my heart with joy.

Thank you.

Catching up on global headlines, I found myself wondering if I should do a quick U-turn and go back to being a monk for 4 years.

(By the way you could listen to these essays and take me with you on a drive or walk by downloading the Substack app)

Join The Nothing Revolution

So I’ve been doing more nothing, keeping the meditation alive day and night, going to the gym, working like mad on my book which I will share a snippet of with you today, and now doing health mentoring work that I love. Life is beautiful. I am immersed in it.Yet, I keep falling into a dark spiral. While there is always more I can do to tend to my own wounds, the heaviness I feel is not related to my circumstances.

The heaviness is in the world. The heat is rising. The suffering is exponential. America has beef with all its neighbors and most of its allies. Israel is on a six front war, with Egypt and Jordan getting weary of these antics. Everyone is adjusting, and even the best of us realize that we are hanging by a thread.

There is a harshness to the soil of humanity right now.

It feels dry af, man.

I isolate, I search for weed, or porn, or sugar, or Instagram, or anything to numb the painful existence.

So today, I explore with you

1. where we are in terms of collective health

2. what our potential could be in this new Maga-death era we’ve entered, and

3. what the two things that keep me from despair are.

In the meantime, I am hosting a four-part free online health workshop series every other Thursday, starting March 6th at 6pm PST.

I will cover:

• The new scientific health paradox about 1st and 2nd gen immigrants who work in science, tech or engineering fields.

• How to navigate a toxic environment and how it impacts your health

• How to excavate identity through intergenerational trauma techniques.

• How trauma relates to health behaviors and habits and how to break the cycle

• How to measure health to have meaningful comparisons with your own baseline rather than comparing to others.

• Conversations, Exercises and Demonstrations!

Please share this with that friend of yours that isolates rather than asks for help. This information saves the lives of many.

Register to get the recordings as well, or even better, join us and be part of the discussion!

The New Health Playbook Workshop Series

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Ok now let’s get into todays topic.

Where was I?

Oh yes…

I was saying that we are entering…

A Strange Sick Techno World

The trumpets play a sad song, bids farewell to good ol’ corporate oligarchy (the devil you know, and love to hate).
They welcome a new era of billionaire oligarchy (the devil you thought you knew). As Yanis Varoufakis puts it, “Capitalism is dead, and what we have now, Technofeudalism, is way worse”. His 2-year-old book is eerily on the nose.

I can’t comment on RFK’s plan for health just yet, although access to alternative medicine, healthier food, and more non-biased scientific studies all make perfect sense. Believing it however…is a big fucking pill to swallow!

He did eat that McDonald’s Happy Meal on Air Force One after all, so even if RFK Jr’s intentions are as great as he says they are, it will certainly be an uphill battle for him. #justsaying

Jokes aside, the President’s love for highly processed foods is not the only obstacle. If HHS follows suite with DOGE (and the President’s overall policy preferences on cutting costs on services), then we may be talking about a much darker healthcare reality where people are not just very sick, but they can’t access their meds or doctors either.

Let’s hope for more yoga and meditation yes, but also more affordable and universal coverage because that is still what most people need.

Some may say, why not believe in him? He may not know Jackshit about healthcare, but how much worse can it get?

To these people I say, Touche!

Indeed, the new Health and Human Services Head is up against a long sad history of terrible policies that have caused much suffering to the American people.

Let’s discuss that today, and take a pulse check of where we are when it comes to our collective health in America.

The following is an excerpt from the book I’m currently researching and writing a proposal for under the current title: Healthy Humans Sick Society.

For any other thoughts on the title or the excerpt below, please reply to this email or leave a comment and start a discussion about it.

Leave a comment

How the Industrial Revolution Century Shaped our Health

Over the last century, the Western world has engineered an exciting yet strange new reality. While we have inherited a world of magnificent marvels, it is also laden with buried burdens. We live in an era of technological comfort, yet we lack the fundamental rhythms of human health.

We have to ask ourselves:

• Why are anxiety, addiction, and depression at an all-time high?

• Why are more people burning out and quitting their jobs more than ever before?

• How have we become so isolated?

• Why are family relationships so fractured by politics?

• How have metabolic diseases become our biggest predators?

• Why are more children committing suicide now than at any other time before?

• Why are our bodies rebelling against us with autoimmune diseases?

Even more puzzling—why are we getting sicker in an age where we have all the tools to remain healthy? Perhaps the question is no longer: ‘How can we cure cancer?’ but rather: ‘Why is cancer more prevalent than ever before?’

My friend Paul asked a beautiful question after caretaking for a family member that had Non-Hodkin’s lymphoma:

"Is it just a coincidence that, in an age where we are obsessed with ‘Growth’ , the defining disease of our time—cancer—is a pathological, unchecked growth of cells that spirals out of control?”.

Powerful question.

Here are some more:

🔥 Is it also a coincidence that inflammation is now the biggest culprit behind chronic diseases, just as our climate heats up and employees burn out?

📊 Is it possible that our bodies serve as dashboards, reflecting the dysfunctions of our society?

⚠️ Could our bodies be warning us about what our minds refuse to acknowledge?

The current evidence says yes, the mind and the body are two sides to the same coin, and if they are disconnected by distractions then we start developing diseases.

A majority of these diseases are spiraling out of our internal and generational anxieties and work-related stress.

These “Jobs” Politicians Talk About, Suck…

In 2021, a decade after I left medicine, 334,000 physicians and other clinicians left the workforce due to retirement, burnout, and pandemic-related stress. This is not just a medical personnel issue or a COVID-related problem—it’s a societal crisis. You and I are not alone in our struggles with modern ailments largely propagated by stress and stress-related diseases.

While our parents might argue that work has always been stressful, the modern work experience is a completely different ballgame. According to McKinsey’s 2023 report, 51% of the global workforce is either barely managing, drowning in, or overwhelmed by work demands. That is more than half of all jobs in the world!

Gallup’s 2022 survey revealed that 17% of the U.S. workforce is actively disengaged, and this trend is rising. Industries most affected by severe mental health issues include government, transportation, technology, healthcare, higher education, law, and finance.

According to a 2023 survey by Mason Frank and Salesforce, the tech industry has a burnout rate of 44% among full-time employees, with 42% considering quitting their jobs!

Think about that for a second: The people running our governments, the doctors meant to heal us, the tech engineers holding some of the most coveted jobs, the drivers and pilots ensuring our safety, the visionary entrepreneurs we idolize, and the legal professionals who are supposed to protect us—are all deeply suffering.

Check that. They are dying. Although the media is focused on the CEO that got murdered, 19 other CEOs died on the job in 2024, many in their 40s.

What is happening? Why are we generating all these diseases in an era where we have unprecedented resources to prevent them?

Then there is the ‘Wellness’ Illusion, sold for an additional $5.7Tn dollars

Instead of addressing these pressing questions, society offers us quick fixes: a pill for obesity, a smoothie for IBS, a yoga retreat for those lingering feelings of angst. The $5.7 trillion wellness industry convinces us that we feel this way because we are not doing enough push-ups, drinking enough probiotics, or sweating in enough saunas.

Both healthcare and wellness industries have become bottomless wells of expensive “to-dos,” propagated by a narrative that convinces us we must navigate this world alone. These industries thrive on the same thought patterns that keep us trapped in cycles of stress and sickness. What we fail to realize is that our trauma turns into beliefs, those beliefs turn into thoughts, which turn into behaviors, which solidify into habits, and ultimately manifest as diseases and poor health outcomes.

The 2024 survey by the American Psychiatric Association found that 43% of

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Knowing myself I have probably beat myself up about many marketing decisions I made last year and a lot of costly business mistakes.

As I return to you with (hopefully…

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