Musing # 15 : Shame & Rejection
These damn gremlins
Before we get into today’s musing, my weekly gratitude could not be more appropriate for today’s topic.
🙏 Sunday Gratitude
I am thrilled and honored to have Emily Silverman subscribe to this newsletter. Emily is a doctor, writer, creative artist and one of the most exceptional humans I had the pleasure to meet. Check out her organization The Nocturnists, a vibrant community of healthcare workers who are celebrating their humanity through storytelling. Their most recent project is about shame in medicine.
I especially would love to invite you to listen to her latest episode on Shame here. 👇
Never miss the Gumption. Ever.
I have experienced so much rejection the past few years, and I feel like it must be an initiation for something bigger.
A tough shell I have acquired on my turtle back to protect me from moving at a pace faster than what I need.
In the past 3 years, I have been fired from a job, rejected by other jobs and clients, had partners of all sorts walk out on me, and my writing has gotten rejected several times already.
So what does this all mean?
Well, I could revel in this feeling of being misunderstood, or rise above that and see what doors will open when old ones get slammed shut. Not easy.
My theory is that all of this is preparing me for my writing which is getting more structured and I feel like I will be able to produce work that I am excited to put into the world within a few months.
The more I understand my feelings around rejection, diffuse the shame that comes with it and really understand that nothing is actually personal (even the personal stuff), then I can grow with the pain and transmute it.
So what story did you tell yourself when you last felt rejected? How much of that are you still holding onto? What is happening beneath the surface of resentment?
Never miss any of my guttural posts. Ever.
Today I wanted to share two pieces from last year's posts if you want to dig deeper:
Shame - Check out Brene Brown's video which is absolutely enlightening.
1- We all have shame
2- We all hate talking about shame
3- Once we do talk about it, it is gone.
Rejection, My Old Friend - From my wandering mind last year to you .
Rejection is Redirection. That’s the wisdom. It is very easy to see in hindsight, but incredibly elusive when we are in the throes of these rejection shame gremlins.
I am away on vacation this week with no connectivity so I will be responding to your emails and comments as soon as I am back!
Another throwback is scheduled to come out to you next Sunday. Thanks for being here. It really means everything to me.
Omar, I share your struggle with rejection. It is complex. For instance, I work hard not to be rejected. It feels bad to me. But, founders who are building companies may excel if they build their comfort with rejection. I'm a little jealous of those who can do this. In fact, rejection tolerance is a muscle I dream of strengthening. What if I could get to a place of celebrating rejection? ...I'm not there yet, but your post inspired me to think about this as one of my personal growth goals. I'm reminded of this TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/jia_jiang_what_i_learned_from_100_days_of_rejection?language=en